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Tool: The three levels of listening

For individuals: read below and start applying in your own everyday discussions with others


For teams: read below and afterwards practice in pairs taking turns speaking and listening (each one speaks for 4 minutes uninterrupted by the other about his/her dreams and the other person listens actively being aware of which level they are listening at (nodding and smiling is allowed!). Reflect afterward: what are you learning and noticing about being listened to, and about listening actively?





It is natural to jump between different levels and we will always every now and then be at level 1. The point is BEING AWARE and having the CAPACITY to shift yourself CONSCIOUSLY between the different levels - you CHOOSE where your listening is at.


Level 1 - internal listening


At this level you are actually mostly listening to your own brain chatter!


“When is my turn to speak?” “I really want to say this and share my view on the issue!” “Why is she talking so slowly?” “How can they not notice what is obvious..” “What should I have for dinner?” “what is he thinking about me I wonder?”


It is natural to be at this level a large portion of the time, because it takes least energy, but at this level we are not very self-aware, the other person does not feel appreciated and listened to, we are not truly present and connecting. 


Level 2 - focused listening


Two lovers in a restaurant - they are completely focused on each other, not noticing the world around them, but hearing everything the other person is saying.


At his level you are focused on what the other person is saying and asking questions to clarify. You listen but you don’t notice the underlying energy or what is at the heart of the  message - what is NOT being said. 


You can practice this level by repeating in your own mind what the other person is saying - this forces your own thoughts to shut down as you have to really focus in order to repeat silently everything in your mind.


Level 3 - Global listening


At this level you are not only listening to the words of the other person, but you can pick up on underlying messages, nuances and feelings. You are also aware of your own thoughts and emotions the other person is awakening in you as well as of your surroundings. 


You can practice being at this level by taking everything into account as you listen - what are you sensing? What is beneath the iceberg of what the other person is saying? How do you feel? Can you notice your own breathing? Are there other sounds around you that you can notice without losing focus on the speaker? What is the atmosphere?

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